Trust His Heart...

That phrase comes from a song my friend Tammy introduced me to.  I love it.  The chorus of the song is this...
God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don't understand
When you don't see His plan
When you can't trace His hand
Trust His heart

Being a part of the foster care system, I have to lean heavily on Jesus.  And there are a lot of times that I don't understand His plan for some of these kids.  But I just have to trust Him.  Let me tell you, that is easier said than done.  

Since my last post, "Big Brother" went home on a Thursday in July.  It was hard to see him go, but we didn't have long to be sad because the night before we got a call for another 2 year old boy and we will call him "Bug".  We only had him a week and he was able to be placed with some of his family.  We were happy for him, and I actually get to see him still every day.  So that's an extra treat.

We got a call in July to take a baby who was still at the hospital.  We will call him "Jonah".  His situation is more severe than anything we have ever dealt with.  We also have never had a "new" baby.  (Bless you moms of newborns!)  But Jesus has been with us every step of the way.  We have been lied to so much with this case and it is heart breaking.  Telling us that we will be able to adopt him, there won't be any visits with parents, no family wants him, etc.  Well all of those are lies.  I guess she needed a place for him on a Friday night.  So upsetting.  But we wouldn't trade our time with him for anything.  He is such a good baby.  I know that the "plan" is for him to be with family, but it doesn't hurt any less.  I have enjoyed having him and he is helping to fill that hole in my heart right now.  You see, right now I know of 14 people who are pregnant and I must say I'm a tad bitter about it.  But again, I don't see HIS plan, but I'm trusting Him.


There are days that I'm ready to throw the towel in and give up our foster care license.  But then I get that phone call about a baby, or a toddler that needs love and protection and I just can't say No!  But how many more times am I going to have to say goodbye before I can welcome one into my home forever!  Don't see HIS plan, but trusting Him.  Are you seeing a pattern here?  


If you are reading this post, prayers would be much appreciated.  We just want God's will for "Jonah".  Even if it means taking a piece of our hearts with him to a different home.  And please pray for "Jonah" specifically.  He is going to have a long road ahead of him.


Much Love,
Kayla


Heavenly Father.  Thank you for "Jonah".  Thank you for giving him life and for keeping him safe through all of this mess.  Thank you for allowing us to be a part of his life, even if it's for a short time.  We don't understand Your plan yet for him, but help us to keep trusting You and looking to You for the answers.  We want Your will done in his life Father.  Please help me to have patience during this time that You are finding the right child for me to be their "special" mommy.  Thank You for walking with us through these trials.  I love You Jesus!